Response to "Arranging a Marriage in India"

I am quite torn on Serena Nanda's article, I have never really thought too much about arranged marriages before. Growing up in "Western" society, of course the idea of such a matrimony is considered ridiculous and primitive. Although that thought was predisposed in my mind, after reading this article I am not so sure that I completely disagree with the arrangement of spouses considering the many promising aspects of it.
I learned today in my world literature class that the idea of Western society came about when Europeans began differentiating themselves from the cultural "other," which in their case would be those in Asia. "Eastern" society was exotic to them, customs and culture. When I read through this article I could see that the ideas of meeting a person and getting to know them before marriage greatly differed from having my mother decide that I will be marrying Joe Shmoe. But I thought about it, and I realized that in America, this idea of "romantic" love has its consequences. We have plenty of time in life to find a mate and get to know them, however, we choose to rush into relationships and base our futures on what we have encountered with our significant others in a matter of months or maybe a couple of years. This leaves room for many problems, both financially and emotionally.
Nanda's friend who was arranging her son's marriage was keen on finding a suitable match for her son, one that would not cause any problems to the family when it came to gossip, money, etc. She would not let her son marry a girl who came out of a family with too many girls (145) because that would be potential economic and social damage for the son's family. This reminds me of the story behind Pride and Prejudice, where it was not suitable for a wealthy man from a higher class to consider a marriage between a girl that was in practical destitution with a pack of five sisters at home. Let us not mention, that also in that story was the problem of the daughter Elizabeth being too out spoken and well learned for her own good, which brings us to another problem that tears me between liking and disliking arranged marriages.
The son was given another prospect with a woman who was very well educated and could hold her own in the outside world (145), which was a problem for the family because they did not want a girl who was too well educated. This distaste for an intelligent woman is oppressive in my opinion, because I have been a girl brought up to show off as much of my brain power as possible, never considering the feelings of the opposite sex. Giving the opinion on the mother's end, I can see that she does not want a girl to be too full of herself and not get along "harmoniously" (145) with the boy's family. I do believe that the behavior they wish for their son is shooting too high, no one person is perfect.
Reaching perfection in their son's marriage is an amiable goal, but it no two people are completely "perfect" for one another, and makes me think of Hitler and his hope for a perfect race and world. Perfection is a great thought, and of course we all wish that our lives were blessed with perfection, but to deny every girl her place in a son's life is rather excessive. Where one girl is too educated, the other is too loud, and another is too poor. This Nazi marriage is too much for me to fathom, however, I do remember my own mother saying that she wanted me to find a good guy to marry, and she'd hate the dude otherwise.
I also recognized that the references to the caste system was mentioned several times. I have been afflicted with my own version of the caste system in my own family. My family is against me marrying outside of the Catholic faith. In India, the Brahmins would not want someone marrying an Untouchable, it would be dirty and low. In any case, I do not understand this disgust towards lower castes of people, but I do see how it would be desirable for two people to be apart of the same caste in order to have less complications between not only themselves, but with the families involved.
As you can tell, I was all over the place in reading this article. I am still not quite sure I agree with arranged marriages, but I do like the idea of a worry-free matrimony. The ideals are all there, but there are glitches in the plans based on how Western society as brought me up. I must remember though, I am not in the East, so I do not know all of the good that can come from such an upbringing.